THE WAY #20

"It is inevitable that you should feel the rub of other people's characters against your own. After all, you are not a gold coin that everyone likes.

Besides, without that friction produced by contact with others, how would you ever lose those corners, those edges and projections — the imperfections and defects — of your character, and acquire the smooth and regular finish, the firm flexibility of charity, of perfection?

If your character and the characters of those who live with you were soft and sweet like sponge cake you would never become a saint."

It's tough when the ones we love are difficult to live with. When mothers describe their daughters to me and tell me how exasperating they are my first response is, "I bet you were just like her when you were her age." Usually their eyes get big and they nod. This world is where we need to grow in virtue. There is nothing like family to force us to improve. Thank God for giving us lots of opportunities to improve.

THE WAY #19

"Will-power. A very important quality. Don't despise little things, for by the continual practice of denying yourself again and again in such things — which are never futile or trivial — with God's grace you will add strength and resilience to your character. In that way you will first become master of yourself, and then a guide, a chief, a leader: to compel and to urge and to inspire others, with your word, with your example, with your knowledge and with your power."

Maybe you have never wanted to be a leader, guide or chief. It doesn't matter. You still need to exercise your will-power, your self-control. Maybe you spend too much time in front of the TV...or the computer! Where is your spouse? What are the kids doing? Is there a friend who needs a visit? Deny yourself that little attachment and see what God wants you to do.

THE WAY #18

"You persist in being worldly, superficial, scatter-brained, because you are a coward. What is it but cowardice not to want to face yourself?"

Teach your children to live in the real world and make it better. In order to make the world better they must live in reality. We need to know ourselves and fight to improve ourselves so that we can help the others. It begins when we face ourselves. God wants to help us. Give him a chance.

THE WAY #17

"Don't succumb to that disease of character whose symptoms are inconstancy in everything, thoughtlessness in action and speech scatter-brained ideas: superficiality, in short.

Mark this well: unless you react in time — not tomorrow: now! — that superficiality which each day leads you to form those empty plans (plans 'so full of emptiness') will make of your life a dead and useless puppet."

It seems as if St. Josemaria has dealt with people like me. He understood a hormonal time-bomb. The ups and downs of life, the cycles in the church calendar, confession and Mass can all work together to help us begin again. Lent begins soon. It's time to dig down and struggle to improve, to love God better.

THE WAY #16

"You a drifter? You... one of the crowd? You, who were born to be a leader! There is no room among us for the lukewarm. Humble yourself and Christ will set you aflame again with the fire of Love."

Humility is underrated. Pride is everywhere. It's strange to be reminded that you should be a leader and at the same time you should be humble. The two don't seem to go together. At the same time, humility and lukewarmness somehow do seem to go together, but they don't. Do you get the feeling that God arranges things in ways that we can't easily put into our little heads? I guess that's one reason why we need humility!

The Way #15

"Don't put off your work until tomorrow."

You have to believe that God has a sense of humor! I have been away from this blog for over two months. I have many excuses but I won't bore you with them. Procrastinator is not a nice label; lazy is even worse. The trick is to fight our flaws with a sporting spirit and know that God loves us and is laughing with us as long as we continue to struggle. We are in this for the long haul.

THE WAY #14

"Don't waste your time and your energy — which belong to God — throwing stones at the dogs that bark at you on your way. Ignore them."

St. Josemaria gave a meditation called "Time is a Treasure". We have constant opportunities to be efficient and work hard. We also have more opportunities to waste time. Won't it be interesting at the end of our lives when we should account for the time we have been given?

I think that God wants us to love more. Did I spread love today? Make that phone call? Serve that special dessert? Did I waste my time worring about something that I can't do anything about?

THE WAY #13

"Get rid of those useless thoughts which, at best, are but a waste of time."

Why is it that we sometimes let our imagination run wild? We imagine conversations that we never had, difficulties that probably won't happen, things people said years ago... Imagine how much time is wasted and how much harm is done by useless thoughts. Wouldn't it be better to read, exercise or pray?

THE WAY #12

"Let those very obstacles give you strength. God's grace will not fail you: 'Inter medium montium pertransibunt aquae! You shall pass through the mountains!'

Does it matter that you have to curtail your activity for the moment if afterwards, like a spring which has been compressed, you will reach incomparably farther than you ever dreamed?"

This point in the way helped me through nine pregnancies. It isn't easy to detach yourself from your own strength and vitality. I think of that often as I get older. Sometimes I need to ask for help. Hopefully, I remember to ask God.

THE WAY #11

"Will-power. Energy. Example. What has to be done, is done... without hesitation, without more worrying. Otherwise, Teresa of Avila would not have been Saint Teresa: nor Iñigo of Loyola, Saint Ignatius. God and daring! 'We want Christ to reign!'"

I love St. Teresa. I've been reading a book about her. She was my age when she was traveling through Spain opening convents. All I have to do is help organize a wedding. The wedding is six weeks away and will be a joyful celebration of love. We need to put people before things and God above it all.

THE WAY #10

"Never correct anyone while you are still indignant about a fault committed. Wait until the next day, or even longer. And then, calmly, and with a purer intention, make your reprimand. You will gain more by one friendly word than by a three-hour quarrel. Control your temper."

This works for parents too. I remember a woman who was angry with her son. She had a brush in her hand and knew that she should drop the brush before speaking to her son. Parents don't always have the opportunity to wait a day or two before disciplining a child but it would be better to wait and miss the immediate opportunity and rectify your intention. Think: What offence did he commit?

THE WAY #9

"Say what you have just said, but in a different tone, without anger, and your argument will gain in strength and, above all, you won't offend God."


Did your mom ever tell you to count to ten? There is wisdom in those old ideas. For the love of God and neighbor we need to develop self control. We need to help our children develop self control. We don't need to return to an era of stuffiness, but letting it all hang out is not helping society.

THE WAY #8


"Serenity. Why lose your temper if by doing so you offend God, annoy other people, upset yourself... and have to find it again in the end?"

I am a fairly calm person...most days. I owe it to my parents who were fairly calm. When serenity is more fleeting it helps me to TRY to think with a supernatural outlook. What does God want me to do with this mess? What is the big picture? What can be learned? What can be sanctified? I also pray, "Soul, be calm".

THE WAY #7


"Get rid of that 'small-town' outlook. Enlarge your heart till it becomes universal, 'catholic'.
Don't flutter about like a hen, when you can soar to the heights of an eagle."

I've just returned from a retreat. Who would think that to be more universal, to be able to soar like an eagle, it's important to pull away for a few days? We need to gain perspective and that is too difficult when we are in the day to day struggle. Parents need to step back and place their concerns on the patten at Mass.